Where's The Love?

2007-10-04T06:17:00.000-07:00

If you do not know how to forgive then you fail to understand love. Please "don't" even think about getting married. Love within marriage demands compromise. We tend to embrace the notion that love and marriage are synonymous, that they spring from the same motives, and cover the same needs. Like most popular notions this also rests not on actual facts, but on fallacy.

In order to be loved you must exude love. I know what you're thinking. This is a load of garbage. Believe me, I know there are days you getup and know that you are not lovable. Don't discount the biblical reference to "Love conquers ALL things" give it a try. Instead of trying to attract the love of others, seek to give your love to others, expecting nothing in return. If the steak is burnt and the salad soggy throw it out (discreetly if your eating alone) and make a sandwich. FORGIVE!

Within marriage we long to be loved. It is a natural desire ingrained within us. It was why we were attracted to each other in the first place. We were drawn to each other and desired something from one another that we LOVED. We grow up as children "loving" quite a few things but as we grow older we soon learn to say "I don't like." Once matured we become fault finders and nit-pickers. It's amazing to me that we can point out ugly all day long and fail to recognize anything beautiful in the day.

To sum up:

1. You and your spouse ARE close together so close in fact that you are One.

2. If you would feel the truth of this, you must come to your marriage in faithful love, and you must not allow yourself to condemn, ridicule or judge, physically, verbally or mentally. Don’t use what you discover and learn from each other as weapons of mass destruction. It's a war that once started never won.

3. You must persist in doing this until faith, love and understanding become the habit of your life together.

4. Love is truly beautiful to those who seek to find it.

The Vow or Oath!

2007-10-03T13:00:00.000-07:00

I thought I would give a small reminder of the vows that were recited first:

I John take you Jane to be my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live.

What more perfect or pleasing picture than that of happy married life. Yet how little of it we see! How the newspapers dish up to us in strong words the misery, despair, wretchedness, infidelity and deceit of the divorce court. How it stares at us from the desolate fireside of friend and acquaintance; is hinted at or suppressed by the records of the Coroner's office; leers at us from the Hollywood affluent; lurks in the humble home of the humble mechanic or now single mother. How sad the contrast between the home where nestles happiness, love, contentment, offspring; and the abode of suspicion, deceit, infidelity or barrenness.

And yet men and women are being married every day, every hour, every minute. Men and women incompatible physically, mentally and morally. Being urged on by lust, greed, or vanity; to escape unhappy homes; to hide sad indescretions or whatever. There are a thousand reasons for marriage, some good, many bad but we are constantly marrying.

A man or woman selects their future life partner less carefully than they would a dog; they yield their life and happiness, blindly and unreasoningly, to those of whom they know nothing about these days. These intended "to be's" better fitted for the hospital or the insane asylum, enters the bonds of wedlock with never a thought of the consequences; with never a care as to whether they will wreck their own life and happiness without thinking that this act may bring into being, a burden to the family and community, a curse to themselves and a constant reminder of the parent's foolhardiness or lack of knowledge of such an act and then add to this fiasco the possibility of committing the most horrendous crime of murder! Especially today!

No man or woman has any right to enter either blindly or willfully into so sacred and important a relationship as marriage.

There are those who look upon marriage as the only real cure for their indiscriminating behavior. Even if it were a fact that the marital relations did accomplish such a result (and they never do, as we all bear witness to the thousands who are today weak, exhausted, unhappy, nerveless, hopeless wrecks, who are cursing their ignorance); even if such a result was a certainty, what right has anyone to use someone for such a purpose? By what law of humanity are a man or woman's hopes and happiness to be hazarded on so fragile a basis, their spirit of life launched into a pool of such lies and deceit?

Sadly, such marriages bear and are bearing deadly fruit before our eyes day by day, in infidelity, abandonment, suicide, insanity, crime and prostitution--in disease and misery, even to the third and fourth generation.

Love And Happiness

Where's The Love?

The Vow or Oath!